Girls I’m writing today to remind you of one easy truth to remember when blowing your man: It’s not animal instinct that determines the success of failure of most blowjobs. It’s indisputably the technique.

It’s my heartfelt belief that you can’t teach the perfect blowjob, as we are all so incredibly different. One mind- and wad-blowing technique for you and your partner will be only “meh” for someone else. True, we are all built with genitals and orifices, but the variations in sensitivity, ability, and predilection far outweigh the similarities.

So this article doesn’t claim to teach you how to Give Great Head. You have to learn that on your own, honey. I can however, give you a few pointers that I’ve found have worked especially well on many of the cocks I’ve sucked.

The first thing you need to remember is that the aim of a decent blowjob is not to “suck” the penis. Nor does it involve any “blowing,” most often at least. But thanks to the term “blowjob” and the directive to “suck a dick,” many women are just plain confused about what it is they’re supposed to be doing with their mouths. Hoovering or fanning, or some combination of both, perhaps?

This is not to say that a little suction doesn’t have it’s merits. Not that a warm breeze on a wet glans isn’t a wicked awesome sensation. But the core of the blowjob is the tongue, not the lips.

Lots of women I talk to believe that the way to really work a cock is by tightening their lips around a penis as if in a death- grip. Wrong-o girlies! Keep them lips loose as he slides in and out of your mouth. The real action is on the tongue.

Ladies, we need to focus on the tip of the penis. This is where we will apply the most “care” during the maneuver, even as we manipulate other parts of the penis with our hands, the head is the most sensitive area, and so that’s where we’ll (and he’ll) have the most fun.

Here’s a move that I like to use:
Take a firm but tender hold of his penis and slide it into your mouth until the tip of his cock is square in the center of your tongue. Now press that penis down firmly into your tongue, so that the center of your tongue is depressed and the sides wrap up and around him. You’ve gift wrapped him, and you’ve also created maximum contact (and friction) while still leaving plenty of room so you don’t feel stifled.

Switch it Up:
One thing I hear a lot is that it’s hard to keep up that level of activity on muscles that aren’t necessarily exercised otherwise. I feel you. Many a time I have wondered if I was going to get lockjaw (cockjaw?) by the end of a BJ, or walk away with carpal tunnel after a handjob. But we often fail to remember, and I’m as guilty of this as any other girl, that it’s completely acceptable to switch up your hand and your mouth. Or better yet, pull your mouth away and watch as he takes over with his own hand to masturbate himself.

Slow and Steady Gets the Prize
As excited as you may be to have him writhing in orgasmic ecstasy, or as eager as you may be to get on to some juicy vaginal intercourse, or something else that involves your own pleasure a little more, I admonish you to keep your pace slow and steady, building speed and intensity only gradually. You may drive him crazy if you go too slow (not that that isn’t a goal;), and you may alarm him or turn him off if you move too fast. It’s not an easy forumula: remember: everyone couple is different. The best trick for a great blowjob: communication!